FAQs

My adult child isn’t talking to me. How can you help?

I’m so sorry to hear this. Estrangement by one or more of your adult children is one of life’s most difficult challenges. I’ve received extensive training in the complications of estrangement and have been involved in the estrangement community for many years. I provide individual coaching and facilitate groups for parents/grandparents who are estranged.

Does social media play a part in estrangement?

Absolutely! There are many online forums that support and encourage adult children to think of their parents as “narcissistic” and “toxic”. While it’s important for everyone to have healthy boundaries, some adult children are encouraged to have no contact with their parents.

What is a “gatekeeper?"

A gatekeeper is often a daughter-in-law or son-in-law who interferes with the relationship between you and your adult child. The gatekeeper often rewrites the history of your kid’s childhood, distorting reality so that he/she turns against you.

Do you have any personal experience with estrangement?

Unfortunately I do. I was estranged from one of my kids for six years and another for a year. I’m happy to say that I now have a great relationship with both of my adult children. It took a lot of patience, working with a very skilled therapist, self-reflection, and plain luck. Did I say a lot of patience? My experience drives me to do this.

You’re supporting me so will you always tell me what I want to hear?

Not always. Know that I’ll be your biggest champion but working on a strategy to achieve what you want may include things you don’t want to hear.

I’m already seeing a therapist. How are you different?

Good for you! I’m glad you’re taking steps to safeguard your emotional health. Here’s how I’m different: A good therapist will help you explore your past and assist you with emotional challenges but very few therapists are familiar with the complications of estrangement. I help you think through how to live with your present estrangement and how to move forward.

What is parental alienation?

This is when a child becomes estranged from one parent as a result of psychological manipulation by another parent. This usually happens during a separation or divorce and is very damaging to the child and even considered a form of child abuse by many.